In his April 2007 General Conference talk To the Aaronic Priesthood: Preparing for the Decade of Decision, Elder Robert D. Hales told the story of a young pilot who disobeyed orders, attempted aerial stunts at night, and crashed into oil rigs below. He used this as a metaphor for spiritual life, warning that even small acts of disobedience can lead to complete ruin. For Hales, obedience to God is an all-or-nothing matter, like flying a plane where any deviation can be fatal.
But people are not aircraft. And life is not a flight path. Demanding an all-or-nothing approach does not just promote commitment, it conditions fear. By insisting that safety lies only in strict obedience, it discourages critical thinking and builds identity around compliance. It teaches young minds to measure their worth by how well they follow commands.
For some, the damage runs deeper. LGBTQ youth, people with mental health challenges, and those wrestling with doctrine often hear these messages as personal condemnation. They are told their pain is rebellion. Their doubts are sin. Rather than being met with compassion, they are labeled as threats to the system.
Fear-based obedience does not create strong believers. It creates fragile ones who are afraid to speak, unsure of themselves, and disconnected from their own moral compass. It turns faith into performance and mistakes loyalty for understanding.
Elder Hales’s message isn’t unique. Similar messages appear throughout church teachings, where obedience is often framed as absolute. From Primary songs that tell children to “choose the right” or be led astray, to youth devotionals warning that sin leads to misery, the message is clear: your safety, your value, and even your salvation hinge on exact compliance.
This teaching of exact compliance is illustrated well by one of the most well-known stories from the Book of Mormon, the vision of the iron rod.
In the vision, a prophet named Lehi sees a tree that represents the love of God. A narrow path leads to the tree, and running alongside that path is a rod of iron.
A mist of darkness surrounds the path, making it hard to see. The only way to safely reach the tree is to cling tightly to the rod and move forward without letting go.
Those who release their grip become lost. Some reach the tree but fall away when mocked by people in a great and spacious building, which symbolizes pride and worldliness.
This story is often taught as a message of safety and clarity. But it sends the same message as Elder Hales’s pilot story. It assumes that life is dangerous, that people are spiritually fragile, and that obedience without deviation is the only way to survive.
There is no room in this metaphor for curiosity or growth. There is no space for questions, for detours, or for trying to understand the world around you. It asks you to keep your grip and keep moving along the predetermined path. The story draws a firm line. You are either obedient or you are lost.
Just like the pilot metaphor, the iron rod story teaches that spiritual safety depends on conformity. Your value is tied to your ability to follow the path without error. The focus is not on wisdom or self-awareness. It is on endurance and submission.
But human growth does not happen that way. People do not become strong by clinging out of fear. They grow by thinking, questioning, and choosing. They grow by making mistakes and learning from them.
A system that demands obedience above understanding does not help people grow. It keeps them small.
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