Skip to main content
Some links on this page are Amazon affiliate links. We may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases.

Letter From a Daughter

 This came to us through our Letters from Lazy Learners form. The writer described growing up in a home where Mormon standards and family expectations were used to shame, control, and silence her. She talked about feeling punished for normal development, blamed for her own trauma, and pressured to appear obedient instead of cared for.

She tried to follow the rules. She tried to open up. She tried to stay connected.

But every step seemed to shrink her world. Her parents dismissed her pain, tightened control when she needed support, and wrapped their reactions in religious duty. She left wondering why a faith that claimed to protect families left hers feeling so conditional and unsafe.



Letter From a Daughter

I was raised Mormon

When I was younger it wasn't problematic. I was being celebrated and praised when I did the things they wanted me to do, so I craved doing them. Then little things as I got older slipped up. 

The first thing I remember that caught me off guard was when I was in elementary school in SoCal. It was really hot one day so I put on one of my tank tops. My mom and dad screamed at me telling me I was trying to show off my shoulders and that it was wrong. I was never told this rule.

 Later on, I was no longer allowed to wear short shorts when I started "developing" in 3rd grade. I was confused on why I could wear them but all of a sudden could no longer. 

As I got older, if I got too bold with what I wore (tank top) my mom would occasionally flash me and rub her breast on me to embarrass me and convince me to stop wearing them.

I remember wishing that god would know my struggle and hoping that when I hid in a vacant room at activities that someone would find me and give me one of those profound spiritual experiences because I was always told crazy stories like that. It never happened. 

In 5th grade I remember having questions about things I heard kids at school talking about. I asked them what puberty was, and they said "who told you about that!?" And I was like oh never mind. And later grown men and women at church were talking about me to my face telling me I was being sinful for thinking about bodies. All I did was ask what puberty was. (Important note not necessarily pertaining to mormonism but my parents are neglectful medically, spiritually, physically, and emotionally) in middle school i started being sexually assaulted as a form of bullying, and yes it was pretty horrific, however my lack of knowledge around the topic led me to have no idea what was going on and I had my first ever 17 day anxiety attack.

I was freaking out, BEGGING my parents to home school me without understanding why I was so scared to go to school. My parents appeared helpful to me at the time and introduced Journaling to me, which I. Still use as an outlet even today. But they didn't really show genuine concern for why I was so scared and crying and sick to my stomach while I was at school. After 6th grade we moved and in 7th grade I was still subject to sexual harassment as a form of bullying as well, I started to master dissociation, but I used to have a bunch of content on my phone regarding sexual violence and my dad ran into this content about sexual violence and downloaded all the screenshot I had on my phone and went over nearly all of them with me and when he was done he was like, "this is really bad Sarah, what have you gotten yourself into, you've been seduced by the internet, youre looking for reasons to be mad and hate men.”

“You don't have to worry about this stuff, only law enforcement and people specialized in it do.”

“You will never have something like this happening to you unless YOU'RE doing something bad and in the wrong places.” 

“I don't believe you have had anything happen to you, have you?!"

 And I was like "well boys at school kind of touch me weird sometimes" and then he heard this and went "well you should've told us" and then continued on his rant about me, not following up what I said with any concern, further questions. Nothing. From then on out I knew I wouldn't ever have told them. 

They still don't know the severity of it all. Ever since then at age 13 to even now at age 20 they've had severe restrictions placed on my phone as punishment. My personal issues around sex and sexual violence still occurred, they got worse when I turned 18 and started dating, and my parents would see me coming home as an emotional wreck after being with my first boyfriend and even still encouraged me to move to Utah for him cause he moved there for work. And so I did. Befor ei moved my therapist in lds services found out I was suicidal and found out I had phone restrictions and pleaded with my parents on my asking to remove the restrictions for my safety. And they did so for around 2 months. While I was in utah I lost it and eventually ended things with my boyfriend. I was sad, I jihad just broken up with them, idk how they heard about the break up I didn't tell them. They called me asking if we broke up and i said yes. And they asked "have you been crying" and I go "of course ive been crying I just went through my first break up" and they were like "oh welll....dont cry around the rest our our family okay? And were turning your restrictions back on." So they turned off my source for help while suicidal during my first breakup, I attempted suicide cause it was made very clear that day that they did not care about me and my personal problems. Luckily I lived with no severe aftermath. Fast forward I move back in with my parents shortly after my car breaks down and sell it. after I was out of extreme sexual abuse my mental state got much better but my physical health started declining. I only have ever missed maybe 5 days of work total, but I was reaching a near 11% attendance rate with my health. I told my parents something is definitely wrong and I needed to see a doctor. But my dad says I just need more sleep and eating better, telling me I don't need to go to a doctor. So I went in private against their will. The doctor finds I have something wrong with my heart which is still under diagnosis and that untreated can be fatal. Fast forward a year and my parents snooped in my room and found a year old negative pregnancy test I forgot to throw out and went on a massive rant about it, asking violating questions about who I've done it with, what type of positions etc. Telling me I HAD to go to a bishop. (Which I never did because what the fuck?) 

I later got in an argument with my mom where she said horible thing telling me I should’ve gotten raped instead of choosing to sin. And that she wished i was raped, and i eventually said things like "and you wonder why i dont wanna talk to you guys about anything....i dont want you in my life anymore" and she got mad at flipped me off. I think it's important to note that the entire time she was yelling the absolute ANGER in her eyes was the thing I remember the most. She genuinely looked like she hated me and wanted to kill me.And currently we have moved again out of state three thousand miles away and I’m kind of isolated out here with my new current long distance boyfriend who's treated me so well, I love him. 8 months in with him my parents accuse me of being a prostitute and of him being a pimp. And I just constantly get accusations thrown out at me.

There was a time my mom walked in my room while I was sick and missing church laying in bed and she saw that I was naked because newflash: people sleep naked" and both my parents sent me big long texts about it trying to show concern, but really there's genuinely nothing wrong with free sleeping tf. My dad in particular sent me bible verses about how women need to be pure for their husbands etc.etc. and that I needed to cook more etc. And sometimes you just have to read their texts and move on. Just so many little things about the way I was raised by my parents whose entire life revolves around LDS culture. 

My mom thinks im autistic because I dont wear makeup. (The reason i dont was because they told me i looked bad so i stopped) my dad told me I needed more makeup. And on top of that they always get really high leadership positions and are very much loved by everyone in the ward and they bond over how difficult I am to raise.

My idea about Mormon doctrine was also pushed by them.

My mother once told me women are the only ones who need to sacrifice in relationships with men, after I was confused why Ariel would give up her voice for a man. My patriarchal blessing tells ne id be a home maker and mother and that I need to make sure to learn to be clean and tidy and learn to cook etc. There's no way they weren't pushing an agenda. And my older brother was kicked out by my parents and had similar experiences of bad treatment not so much regarding sex, but just his emotional wellbeing. And I remember once my mom being on call with him and he's no longer practicing and doesn't believe either and she deliberately was on call with him and sat herself next to me (something that genuinely never happens unless I’m about to be critiqued) and I can tell she thought she had an idea that talking about why she believes it would somehow magically make me know. The truthfulness of the gospel. And my grandma lives with us and she also will randomly play hymns and church covers very obviously only when I'm near her and I also think she's trying to make me "feel the spirit" and hope this magical feeling just sweeps in my heart and I convert again. Which obviously only makes me hate it more. And it's just like I respect your beliefs, why can't you respect mine. 

I used to love the church but all I did was research things through the "authorized" website and I came to the conclusion that there's too many contradictions for it to be true. And if it was so grandiose as it claimed to be and family orientated then why is my family the way that it is towards me? 

Clearly they're not an “actively showing they love”, family.  Only a “compliant” family. 

Anyway that's all. Love ya

Category:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mormon Blood and the Esther Cohen-Tizer-Epstein Letter

With the recent release of nearly 3.5 million pages of the Epstein files, there have been several connections made regarding Jeffery Epstein paying tuition for several students at BYU. The most notable of which is presented in what is known as the Esther Cohen-Tizer-Epstien Letter.    Some are questioning the authenticity of the letter, but some clues seem to point us to a woman named   Esther Cohen .  Lets look at a few connections. Note that these connections are not an attempt at making any accusations and are simply connections made through publicly available information. I will be updating this page as I find more information. EFTA00129111  Reference to the Seven Bowls School of Nutrition From Esther's website: alchemyofnourishment.com (Update March 04, 2026: The site seems to have been taken down) She began studying nutrition as a teenager: Which also seems to align with her site. Alchemy of Nourishment Along with the claim of residing in Colorado Alc...
3 comments
Read

Visualization of the LDS Canon

Around the 1230s, Hugh of Saint-Cher and a team of Dominican scholars produced the first Bible concordance, working through the Latin Vulgate and recording where its words appeared. Because modern verse numbers did not yet exist, the compilers divided chapters into smaller lettered sections so readers could locate an occurrence. Printing made the method far more useful. John Marbeck published the first complete concordance to the English Bible in 1550 . Alexander Cruden's Complete Concordance followed in 1737 and became one of the best-known English Bible reference works. The basic structure remained familiar for centuries: choose a word, then receive a list of passages where it occurs. Latter-day Saints soon adopted the same approach for their own scriptures. In 1900, George Reynolds published A Complete Concordance to the Book of Mormon in Salt Lake City. The 852-page volume was the product of roughly twenty years of work and classified the words of the Book of Mormon so reade...
Post a Comment
Read

Candon Dahle to Marry After Child Abuse Conviction

Former BYU baseball player Candon Dahle is expected to marry this week, less than a year after receiving a plea deal that allowed him to avoid sex offender registration despite admitting guilt to two felony counts involving the abuse of a child. News of the wedding has reignited criticism online, where many argue Dahle's return to ordinary life has come far too quickly in light of the allegations against him.  The topic was recently discussed on Instagram by  @justinthenickofcrime View this post on Instagram A post shared by Justin (@justinthenickofcrime) Dahle first made headlines in February 2025 when he was charged in Fremont County, Idaho, with felony lewd conduct with a child under the age of 16. According to the probable cause affidavit summarized by East Idaho News , prosecutors alleged Dahle sexually abused an 11-year-old girl and covered her mouth during one of the assaults. Authorities also filed a separate juvenile case in neighboring Bing...
1 comment
Read

The "Mormon" Trademark is About to Expire

 The request for Mormon Stories to rebrand has spread quickly through Mormon spaces. Followers learned that om November 14th 2025, the LDS Church had reached out with claims that the podcast was infringing on the “Mormon” trademark. The demand leaned on the legal idea that the Church owns the word.  The request was shared on social media by @mormstories, but those posts seem to have been removed. Fortunately, copies of the email were  shared on reddit. But there is a significant detail sitting behind this entire dispute. The Church will have to renew the "Mormon" trademark in the 2026 to 2027 window.  Source: USPTO database When that time comes, they must prove that they still use the word “Mormon” in active commerce. USPTO rules are clear on this point. A trademark only survives if the owner can show that it is still printed on actual goods or services that are still being sold or distributed. The official guidelines spell it out at uspto.gov under “ Keeping your r...
3 comments
Read

Mormonism's Complicated History With Caffeine

Ask whether Latter-day Saints can drink caffeine and the current answer is yes. The Church’s own historical summary says caffeine has been “left to the judgment of individual Saints” and is not prohibited as a condition for receiving a temple recommend. [3] That answer is clearer today than it was for much of the twentieth century. Church leaders and publications repeatedly discussed caffeine as a drug, a poison, a potentially habit-forming substance, and at times as the apparent reason coffee and tea were objectionable. Some leaders extended that reasoning directly to cola drinks. In 1965, the First Presidency even told a bishop that decaffeinated coffee did not violate the Word of Wisdom and should not disqualify an otherwise worthy member from a temple recommend.[5] The result was a long period in which formal policy, medical explanation, and everyday Mormon culture did not always point in exactly the same direction. That history helps explain why older and younger Latter-day Saints...
Post a Comment
Read

Are You Temple Worthy?

Temple worthiness isn’t just about "good behavior" in Mormon teaching. It’s a gate that determines who qualifies for the highest blessings the religion offers. The church teaches that only people judged worthy can enter the temple, make covenants, and receive the ordinances that lead to exaltation, which is the belief that humans can become like God and live forever with their families in the celestial kingdom.  This makes worthiness interviews a spiritual checkpoint that can shape someone’s identity, their standing in the community, and even their hope for eternity.    Are You Worthy to Enter a Mormon Temple? Are You Worthy of the Mormon Temple? Yes No Restart Enter the Temple
6 comments
Read

Mormonism and the Satanic Ritual Abuse Scare of the 1980s

       All right. So, for this post today, I’m going to be talking about a pretty sensitive subject. And that’s going to be satanic ritual abuse and potential ties to leadership of the Mormon church.      It should go without saying that this is going to be a little bit more of a sensitive subject. I’ll say up front that I have no intention of diving into specific examples—detailed descriptions of what satanic ritual abuse looks like—outside of broad definitions. My goal is just to give an idea of what makes ritual abuse a little bit different than regular abuse (for lack of a better word). Consider this your heads up that this is going to be a sensitive subject.      I typically wouldn’t really give this type of subject very much attention. I certainly never planned on making a post about it. But I did have an interesting conversation the other day with an LDS content creator that I message with sometimes. I was a little surprised whe...
Post a Comment
Read

The Church is Changing the Sunday Schedule... Again

On September 6, 2026, Latter-day Saints will arrive at church to find the second hour rearranged. Sacrament meeting will remain no longer than 60 minutes. Adults and youth will then attend 25 minutes of Sunday School every week, followed by 25 minutes of Relief Society, elders quorum, Young Women, or Aaronic Priesthood quorum instruction. Primary will meet for 55 minutes. The alternating schedule introduced with two-hour church in 2019 will be gone.¹ The First Presidency's March announcement put the change plainly: In the new schedule, sacrament meeting will continue to be no longer than 60 minutes. After a 5‑minute transition, youth and adults will attend a 25‑minute Sunday School class each week. Following another 5‑minute transition, they will attend a 25‑minute priesthood quorum, Relief Society, or Young Women meeting. Primary will continue to meet weekly and will now last 55 minutes.¹ The schedule is a modest administrative revision. The institution capable of making it, thoug...
Post a Comment
Read

A Girl's Letters from Nauvoo.

On January 3, 1843, Charlotte Haven sat down in a small cottage overlooking the Mississippi and wrote to her parents in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. She had arrived in Nauvoo only days earlier to spend the winter with her brother Henderson and his wife, Elizabeth. Haven was not a Latter-day Saint. Her skepticism appears in the opening lines: [1] As I write Nauvoo, I look at the word with perfect amazement, and almost doubt my own senses when I find myself an inhabitant of this city of fanatics, for never did I expect to see the place, far less to indite letters to my dear parents from it. [1] Haven's letters appeared nearly forty-eight years later in the Overland Monthly under the title "A Girl's Letters from Nauvoo." They are openly critical and should be read as one outsider's testimony, not as a neutral transcript. Still, she recorded small details that official histories often leave out: the bitter cold, muddy streets, unfinished homes, crowded worship services,...
Post a Comment
Read

Everything You Need to Know About the Salt Lake Temple

  The Salt Lake Temple will open to the public from April 5 through October 1, 2027, before it is rededicated and again restricted to Latter-day Saints with temple recommends. [2] Reservations opened on September 1, 2026, and one million tour spaces were claimed in less than 24 hours. [1] The Church describes the event as only the second public open house in the temple’s 134-year history. [2] The building visitors will enter is both old and substantially new. [12] [13] Construction began in 1853 and ended with the temple’s dedication in April 1893, but the interior has been altered repeatedly since then. [3] [20] The current renovation adds about 100,000 square feet of underground space, two baptistries instead of one, five instruction rooms, and 22 sealing rooms instead of 13. [12] The temple now rests on 98 base isolators about 20 feet below the structure, part of a seismic system designed to allow substantial horizontal movement during a major earthquake. [14] [24] The chan...
Post a Comment
Read