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[Satire] Local Ex-Mormon Suprised by Lack of Reaction After Leaving the Church

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By Mason
PROVO, UT — After officially resigning from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, local resident Jared Simmons expected a significant shift in his relationships. Instead, he was surprised to find that most of his friends seemed largely indifferent to the news.

Simmons, 32, had spent months mentally preparing for the fallout. “I assumed there would be some tough conversations, maybe even a few strained relationships,” he said. “I was prepared to lose some friends over this.”

However, the reaction was far more muted than expected. When he told his close friend Josh about his decision, the response was underwhelming. “He just said, ‘Oh, okay,’ and moved on,” Simmons said. “I thought he’d want to know more, or at least ask why.”

Simmons shared similar experiences with other friends. “I told a friend I’d officially left the Church, and she just said, ‘That makes sense,’ and kept talking about her weekend plans,” he said. “It felt like they barely registered what I was saying.”

Even after making a social media post explaining his reasons for leaving, Simmons received minimal engagement. “A few people liked it, but nobody really asked questions or showed much interest,” he said. “It’s like they just didn’t care.”

Simmons admitted that he had anticipated more pushback, or at least curiosity, from his social circle. “I’ve read about people losing lifelong friendships over leaving the Church,” he said. “I thought I’d be making some kind of statement. But it seems like everyone has already moved on.”

Despite the lack of reaction, Simmons said his friendships remain intact. “We’re still hanging out like nothing happened,” he said. “It’s not that I wanted people to be upset, but I guess I expected it to matter more.”

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#mormon #lds #Utah #satire
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