Lucifer's Lantern

  Disclaimer: the following is entirely satire. Aaron: Did Nephites really practice Christmas? The answer might be less straightforward than you think, because critics of the LDS church have pointed out that the Book of Mormon says that Nephites were separated from the Old World centuries prior to the rise of not only Christmas as a holiday but the Christian religion as a whole. But that's what we're going to talk about today, especially because this actually turns into kind of a surprising evidence in favor  of the Book of Mormon when you actually get to the bottom of the criticism and what the actual evidence says. So Mason, did Nephites celebrate Christmas? Mason:  Uh, well, obviously, they're Christians, they don't just practice "happy holidays." Aaron, Mason, Dean: *laughing* Mason: Only joking, and it's important to note that we aren't going to know for sure what festivals developed in the Nephite civilization. Dean: We do have a good idea abo...

 Jeffrey R. Holland, who died in December 2025 at age 85, was one of the most prominent and polarizing leaders in modern Latter-day Saint history. Known for his emotional delivery and uncompromising rhetoric, Holland helped shape the public tone of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at a time of growing internal strain. His sermons consistently framed belief as a matter of loyalty and resolve rather than inquiry. Doubt was often described as weakness or spiritual failure,  a posture that resonated with committed believers but alienated members grappling with historical, doctrinal, or personal concerns. One of the most vivid examples of that tone came from an April 2016 devotional address in Tempe, Arizona, often referred to in online communities as the “Stay in the Boat” or “Tempe Rescue” talk. It became infamous for the way Holland framed belief as a test of loyalty and resolve and cast doubt and departure as signs of weakness or betrayal.  View th...

The “Locating Members” page on the church’s Tech Wiki, now removed from the public site, explains that when a member moves without providing a new address, local leaders are expected to try to find out where that person went. The responsibility usually falls to the ward clerk, working under the direction of the bishop. The record isn’t automatically dropped just because attendance stops.  The full set of instructions is found below, but first, here are some points you need to consider about the religion systematically tracking down "lost" members. Form provided by the wiki First, the system does not recognize disengagement as a valid outcome. The wiki makes clear that when someone stops attending or moves without updating records, the organization treats this as missing data, not a personal decision. Silence is interpreted as a problem to solve. That alone creates an unhealthy dynamic because it removes a person’s ability to quietly exit. Second, the responsibility is instit...

In the past two months, I have blazed through two different Bart Ehrman books: How Jesus Became God , and Jesus Interrupted . Both give a thorough overview on the consensus of Biblical scholarship on the New Testament, its authors, and questions of its historicity. More than once, and to my surprise, Ehrman demonstrates logical fallacies employed by the broader Christian community in rejecting Mormonism, that could just as easily have been used to reject Christianity in the first centuries of its own development. Ehrman recognizes Mormonism as being on the fringes of Christian society, which comes as no surprise to me, as Ehrman did not grow up a Mormon or a member of the LDS church. But I did. I repeatedly took note that Ehrman, perhaps inadvertently, also provides commentary that runs counter to the LDS truth claims about their own holy text, the Book of Mormon: in the case of this essay, the grand apocalyptic vision of Nephi, son of Father Lehi, who was the Israelite patriarch said ...

 One of the stranger ironies in Mormon history is this. The Book of Mormon outright condemns Polygamy with only one exception. And it does so in some of the strongest language found anywhere in LDS scripture. This is striking given that the church later became publicly defined by the very practice the book denounces. The clearest statement appears in Jacob 2. The prophet Jacob addresses his people and accuses them of committing “whoredoms” and “abominations” by taking more than one wife. He explicitly ties this behavior to immorality and broken hearts. The passage does not hedge or soften its language. It is blunt.  Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord. Wherefore, thus saith the Lord: I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch, from the fruit of the loins of Joseph. Wherefore, I, the Lord God, will not suffe...

 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has clarified its position on Bible translations. In its official statement, “ Holy Bible Translations and Editions Used by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ,” the Church explains that it values multiple Bible translations because they help people understand scripture “in the language they know best” .  The statement affirms that the King James Version (KJV) remains the preferred English Bible for Church use, while also acknowledging that some readers benefit from more modern language. That group includes youth, new converts, and people learning English. The recommended English Bible translations are as follows: Source: churchofjesuschrist.org Concerns about KJV comprehension have existed for decades. Yet only now does the handbook clearly frame Bible use around reading level and understanding. The update formalizes what many families were already doing.  The challenge is easy to identify. The KJV was trans...

 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced on December 14, 2025 that a temple will be built in Portland, Maine . The announcement came during a regional Christmas devotional and was delivered by Elder Allen D. Haynie, a member of the Church’s Area Presidency, rather than during a General Conference session or directly by the Church president. What makes this announcement stand out is not the location, but the method. For years, temples were almost always announced during the April or October General Conference, usually by the Church president, at the close of a major session watched by a global audience. Under Russell M. Nelson, this practice became especially prominent, with long lists of new temples read out twice a year. These announcements have often been used rhetorically to imply numerical growth, even in regions with small or stagnant membership.  Announcing a temple outside of General Conference reduces the performative aspect of that claim.   T...

 This series looks back at how early critics of the church reacted to the rise of Mormonism. Some mocked it, others warned against it, and a few tried to make sense of it. Each post features a historical excerpt and some brief context to show how critics viewed the new faith as it was unfolding.  -The full series can be found here - In 1831 Alexander Campbell published An Analysis of the Book of Mormon , one of the earliest full-length critiques of Joseph Smith’s new scripture. The piece first appeared as a review in Campbell’s periodical The Millennial Harbinger and was republished the following year, in 1832, as a standalone pamphlet for wider circulation. Campbell was a prominent religious leader and editor, and he approached the Book of Mormon as a text that needed to be tested, line by line, against the Bible it claimed to supplement. Unlike satirical responses such as Abner Cole’s Book of Pukei , Campbell did not parody Mormonism. He treated it as a serious theologica...

According to the Book of Mormon, a family of Israelites claims to be inspired to flee the city of Jerusalem and embark on a transoceanic voyage to somewhere on the American continent, which their chief patriarch, Lehi, asserts is a "promised land" for them and their posterity. What follows is my reconstruction of Lehite history by using the chronology described in the Book of Mormon text, which is replete with mentions of the years that have passed "since Lehi left Jerusalem," as well as its dating method when its government shifted to a judicial republic, known as "the reign of the judges." I will be treating this as a history as written . That means that I will attempt to fill in gaps of relevant information with the most logical timeline, especially the ages of the various patriarchs featured in the narrative.  Some events, when summarized, will sound more absurd or strange than they do in the more flowery prose presented in the text. I have attempted t...

 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced fourteen new members of the Young Men General Advisory Council , a group that aids the Young Men General Presidency in council and leadership of boys ages twelve to eighteen. The announcement has cause quite an online stir in Mormon spaces as several of these men already have established online followings. Religious youth retention is slipping and institutional messaging struggles to compete with platforms where teens spend most of their time.  Youth these days have a tendency to put a lot of trust in creators, sometimes even more than official statements. By calling men with YouTube channels, filmmaking schools, and large digital classrooms, the Church gains access to people who already know how to package a message and keep an audience engaged. These are essential skillsets for any organization to have in our online world. Who the New Council Members Are Derral E. Eves helped build The Chosen and spent years sha...

 The request for Mormon Stories to rebrand has spread quickly through Mormon spaces. Followers learned that om November 14th 2025, the LDS Church had reached out with claims that the podcast was infringing on the “Mormon” trademark. The demand leaned on the legal idea that the Church owns the word.  The request was shared on social media by @mormstories, but those posts seem to have been removed. Fortunately, copies of the email were  shared on reddit. But there is a significant detail sitting behind this entire dispute. The Church will have to renew the "Mormon" trademark in the 2026 to 2027 window.  Source: USPTO database When that time comes, they must prove that they still use the word “Mormon” in active commerce. USPTO rules are clear on this point. A trademark only survives if the owner can show that it is still printed on actual goods or services that are still being sold or distributed. The official guidelines spell it out at uspto.gov under “ Keeping your r...

 A recent update to the Church’s global handbook introduced new guidance on how members should approach difficult religious and historical questions. The revision, released without a formal announcement, blends pastoral reassurance with a caution against what it calls “unproductive or destabilizing inquiry.*” *Refer to the 14 Fundamentals  and Stand Forever for further guidance  The new section opens with familiar spiritual language. “God loves His children and desires their peace,” the handbook states. “Sincere seekers will find comfort through faith, study, and personal revelation.” Immediately afterward, the update shifts toward a more restrictive tone. Members are advised to avoid “sources or discussions that may complicate testimony unnecessarily” and to refrain from pursuing “lines of questioning that disrupt faith-promoting environments.” Sources close to the handbook committee say the change reflects ongoing concerns about the volume of historical and doctrinal...